Holmes place gay

Dear friends,

Here we go with post part two of the most used search terms: “Holmes place gay”. Just to update you on what I wrote about Holmes Place gyms in the past, please click here. Now, the detailed continuation, in connection with what you might like to hear and what might interest you…

Holmes place (gym) in Berlin has two saunas. One is positioned inside the male locker room and one is a mixed sauna, positioned close to the swimming pool. My odyssey took place in the mixed sauna, which made the entire story form my past Holmes place post even more ugly then it already was. So, After several days of waiting for the representatives from Holmes place to explain the discrimination perpetrated upon me, I finally received an offer to join their club for an aprox. 50% monthly sale with a one year membership. I still got no apology or explanation of any kind from them and then

some weeks pass by… weeks turn into months and finally, last Friday, a guy approaches me at work and says he knows me from Holmes place… I go bananas and ask him how on earth could he know me if I went there only twice in my life and months earlier. The options were two in my opinion: 1) He found me irresistible and remembered me immediately (but that was definitely not the case cause he was there with his girlfriend) and case nr. 2) I did something special that caught his attention, like the way I did the exercises or the way I was dressed… Right, you read right… the way I was dressed. After the pathetic scandal of me and my tank-top, I thought he might have been one of the guys that found me “offensive” for the rest of the clients working out.

I asked him if he remembered me because he thought I was not dressed properly that day. he looked at me with a face that seemed not to understand weather or not I was making a joke. I told him it was not a joke and that one of the trainers actually told me I should put on a t-shirt next time I come to Holmes place and I told him that there was a woman with an even bigger decolté then mine and that after me pointing this fact out to him, he told me it was O.K. for her to wear a decolté cause she was a woman. This trainer also added that it is offensive of me to wear a tank-top in front of clients that don’t look as good as me. What kind of a fake sick moral is that?! I mean, the more I think about it and the more it pisses me off.

Anyway, this guy I met at work listened to my story and couldn’t believe his ears. His conclusion was that the only logical explanation to the story was that the trainer was jealous of my looks. He told me he remembered me because I had the type of toned body he considers to be perfect. Not blown up, bulky and pumped to unnatural limits like most of the brain dead in the gym. Indeed, I never took any powders, artificial protein bomb shakes or anything of the kind. I always stuck to natural products and exercises where you mostly work with your own body weight and do a lot of repetitions rather then lifting extra weights, pumping yourself up like the incredible Hulk and tricking your body into thinking you are actually taller and more massive than you really are. So I guess that explains a lot… personal jealousy from some asshole trainer made me leave the gym for good.

Boy, now I wish I stayed just to show up again in the same tank-top and talk to the manager. By the way, I always train in a tank-top and long trousers. Most of the men in Holmes place had these microscopic tight shorts and nobody said a word to them… probably cause this specific trainer didn’t have to compete with the size of their dicks, generously showing through the, at times, more then thin shorts fabric. Yes, this is a gay gym indeed… the kind where jealousy, territorial fights and all the “who’s gonna get to fuck the sexy newcomer first” schemes all add up to the saddest of sights… a cheap telenovela/soap opera in which I, frankly, do not want to take part. So let the jerks fuck with each other and let them keep their illusion of being able to dominate a revere, just like animals. In their little worlds, they dream up their illusions of being kings in heavenly bodies… but remember you losers… your looks will fade and with them fades sex appeal, beauty and your power in your little world… and before you even know it, there will be another little princess wanting to become queen and she will kick you off your imaginary throne and you will suddenly be told that, not only what you wear, but who you have come to be, is suddenly not good enough. The new queen will tell you: “You scare off the clients”.

And as far as the search terms “gay” and “gay sex” is concerned… I think this little gym story pretty much portrays a lot of realities in the gay community. Just see what goes on in the borough of Schoeneberg, where the extreme cliché gay ghetto is. Almost all of the men living there are victims of the structure described above. The “Holmes place gym” is really just a metaphor for most gay communities. I wish homosexuals would break out of the cliché and start living a normal gay life, without all the superficial shit that nowadays goes with it! Sex is not just the pounding grunt from a cheap porn movie and “real men” are not more “real” and “male” if they dress up in uniforms that satisfy perverted fantasies.

People, be free! Be free to express yourselves. And never be afraid that someone might judge you or laugh at you for what you are. The losers that do so just see themselves reflected in you and cannot take it because they are weak and they know it and it kills them! So, the next time you “go to the gym” (metaphorically speaking, of course), be sure to wear your “tank-top”.

Love,

Ivan